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“Don’t become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants-what is good, pleasing, and perfect.” Romans 12:2 –GOD’S WORD® Translation
Be Aware of Your Thinking
“You are lonely!”
“You are unloved!”
“You are an incest or cancer survivor!”
“You are abandoned!”
“You are too old…too fat…too young…wrong color….wrong gender!”
Are any of these statements or experiences familiar to you? Not to diminish the reality of your experience of pain or suffering, but could it be that underneath the surface of your life experience lies a story that has been holding you back? Recently, the term “conscious uncoupling” went viral when a celebrity couple used that term to announce they were getting a divorce. A lot of the comments about the term have been critical. However, I find it useful as a way of expressing a process of choosing to evolve beyond old hurtful beliefs and patterns in order to create more of the experiences in your life that you desire.
When you stop to think about it, can you see how the lens through which you observe, evaluate, and interpret the events in your life can become your story? Many years ago my focus was always on some future time of experiencing happiness. Typically, I would envision that after I had accomplished some objective, such as losing weight, I would be happy. Through losing weight many times and keeping if off only briefly each time, I discovered that my experience of happiness was short-lived and far between. I learned that if I waited for sustained weight loss, I would only be happy for short periods of time.
My pattern of moaning and groaning about my weight and other aspects of my life came to a screeching limp when I had a graphic dream that clearly illustrated I was sabotaging myself. Literally and mentally I woke up to the fact that the issue was what I believed about myself. This “A-HA!” launched me into the process of understanding and changing my core beliefs about my self image. It eventually led me into a fulfilling career of supporting plus size women under the canopy of “Beauty Comes in All Sizes.”
Conscious Uncoupling Path
Quantum physicists have discovered that where attention goes, energy flows.
And where your energy flows, so does your life. So when we say things that put ourselves down or diminish our value and sense of self worth, such as with self-talk or statements like “I’m not good enough or “Oh, it will never work for me,” or “I’m unlovable,” that’s exactly what the universe hears and returns to you. However, you can begin uncoupling these kinds of ideas by consciously aligning your thoughts and feelings with Infinite Intelligence, which sees you as this awesome and wonderful being created in It’s image. According to Kerri Zanely, “Your story is not what happens to you in your life – rather, it is what you make happen in your life that is your story.”
You have the power to choose a different identity then the one that proclaims you are not enough. Conscious uncoupling involves “work,” in the alchemical sense. It is impossible to uncouple from what is no longer serving you and at the same time live in unconsciousness. It requires your willingness to step out of your comfort zone in order to make room for a positive, healthy self image and belief system. It is helpful to know that in the process of uncoupling those old thinking and belief patterns, you are co-creating with your Source. Your Source is conspiring for your highest good, no matter what! It also requires your awareness, self-acceptance, intention, repetition, and consistency.
Key Questions to Activate Conscious Uncoupling
Key question: What do I really want and what am I willing to give in exchange for it?
- Awareness. Your spiritual awareness is the secret place of the most High within you. All words, affirmations and declarations are for the purpose of empowering you to bring your consciousness to a higher level of spiritual acceptance of who you truly are.
Key Question: Who am I?
- Self-Acceptance. Once you are aware of your desire for change, the next step is acceptance. What is your underlying sense of self? What are your beliefs about your value? The simple fact that you are alive demonstrates your inherent value and self-worth. Learn to see, love, and appreciate the unique, amazing, and gifted individual that is YOU! You teach others how to treat you by modeling how you treat yourself. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change.
Key Question: Who do I want to be?
- Set Your Intention. Who you are is who you say you want to be. Life is what you make it. Become magnetic to what you want to create. You can choose to embrace qualities like abundance, peace, beauty, or love, and in the process attract more of these things to you. Or you can choose limiting thoughts like poverty, worry, disgust or resentment, and you will attract more of those things into your experience. Set your intention to change your thoughts and emotions from low to high energy.
Key Question: What story do I need to stop telling myself? And what story do I want to begin?
- Repetition. Consciously creating and repetitively declaring with feeling statements like, “I love who I am. I love life. Life loves me. It’s going to be smooth and easy. Life works for me,” will begin to impress your subconscious mind. Words are molds. It is the consciousness which flows through them that fills these molds with life-giving substance. View conscious uncoupling as an adventure of alchemy. Know that through joyful repetition you are consciously and lovingly transforming what no longer serves you into creating the kind of life that is fulfilling and satisfying.
Key Question: In this moment what commitment do I want to make to myself?
- Consistency. In the New Testament, St. Paul urges: Think on the things that are lovely, pure and good. You need a deep commitment beyond simply positive thinking. Don’t expect instant success or even any kind of finality, you are on an amazing journey of love, bliss and worthiness. As you train yourself to mentally look for the good, you will move towards the good; and, as you form higher and larger conceptions of the good, these elements will begin to find expression in your words, acts, character, person, talent, and achievements.
Barnet Bain author of “The Third Story” offers this statement: “… I am free at any moment to regard myself in an entirely different way. Any moment that I choose, I am free of all my stories.”
What do you think? Are your stories serving your highest good?
This blog site is intended as a forum for going beyond right and wrong, from black-and-white into shades of color, and for moving into an energetic field of safety, love, compassion, acceptance and understanding. Your comments are inspiring and genuinely welcomed. Please feel free to reply in the comment section below.
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LOL = Lots Of Love,