“LOVE WARRIOR is about infidelity, betrayal and redemption. It’s about how our ideals of femininity and masculinity can make it impossible for a woman and a man to actually know each other….It’s about shameless sex, God, food, drugs, porn and tenderness—and how the dirt and the divine are so often inseparable.” -Glennon Doyle Melton
I’m not sure of the origination of the term Love Warrior, however it is the title of a book written by Glennon Doyle Melton, author of Love Warrior: A Memoir. The above quote refers to the dirt in her memoir. If you want to read her definition of the divine, scroll down to the heading The Dirt and The Divine.
As we know uncertainty triggers our fear of the unknown, our anticipation of certain losses, and our sense of hopelessness. The typical responses to fear are fight, flight or freeze. The fight and the flight responses are about the hope of survival. The freeze response is where there is a sense of hopelessness.
From the news reports there were over 2 million marchers worldwide this past Saturday. They were marching in support of women’s rights and their diverse concerns. Apparently hope was alive in these marchers.
The marchers were there for different reasons. Some were there upset, angry and marched in the spirit of protest of the changes that they felt threatened their values and way of life. Others were marching with similar concerns, but in a spirit of nonresistance, acceptance, and for freedom.
What is interesting to me is without the anti and pro signs you wouldn’t know the motivation of the individuals. Even though the reasons and motivations were diverse, the image of wanting to be seen, heard and valued was obvious.
Questions you are invited to consider:
Is holding the paradox of surrender and resistance the way to heal our political wounds as a nation?
How do we break through and breakdown what divides us?
How do we find our way back to each other?
In some ways this march was reminiscent of my activism days during the ’60s civil rights era. During that time I was one of the anti-protesters of what I deemed to be an unjust and unfair treatment of people of color.
I was not marching in the spirit of nonresistance, acceptance, understanding or love. I was a rageaholic wanting fairness and justice and I WANTED IT NOW!
Not until my experience of spiritual burnout did I come to accept that no matter how unjust I felt life was, I wasn’t in control, God was!
Did the change I wanted to see come about immediately? No, of course not. Change has been made and necessary change is still occurring, but most importantly….I changed.
Letting go was not easy, but that painful experience taught and continues to teach me the correlation between how the quality of my consciousness impacts my experience of the sweet presence of inner peace. At the same time, what if it’s also true that resistance becomes the portal to transformation?
It’s obvious change may be painful and unavoidable, but can we hold to the paradox of radical acceptance of what is, and at the same time as Dr. Lissa Rankin, author and activist who made this comment in a recent blog, “Become Love Warriors and change agents, who stand for the power of the open heart?” If you want to read sooner than later how her expression of a Love Warrior, scroll down to Holding The Space Of a Love Warrior.
The following story illustrates in a humorous way the pain (dirt) of resistance and process of letting go (divine). To get the humor of the bricklayer’s story you will want to read the entire story:
Bricklayer’s Accident Report
“I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient:
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the
ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured scull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground – and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel, slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to move, and watching the barrel six stories above – I again lost my presence of mind.
Isn’t it true that sometimes we have to lose the mind that thinks it’s in control? As the mystics teach, suffering is not necessary and comes from resisting what is.
Dirt and The Divine
Let’s get a glimpse of what the paradox of dirt and the divine looks like to Glennon from her continuing comment about her book:
“It’s about how to use crisis as a springboard to a truer identity and a better life. It’s about parenting our kids through pain. It’s about friendships that hurt and friendships that heal. It’s about faith that shackles women and faith that liberates women. It’s about how to finally find peace in your own damn skin. It’s about shameless sex, God, food, drugs, porn and tenderness—and how the dirt and the divine are so often inseparable.”
Is Glennon’s bold statement off putting to you or can you translate her personal expression and experience as I have, and apply the concept of divine paradox to the bigger picture of helping us find our way back to each other?
Holding the Space of a Love Warrior
I offer Dr. Rankin’s statement as a powerful and desirable goal to work toward. Her reasons for participating in the march are useful in holding the space of Divine Love as she asserts, “I showed up to stand for Love. I marched for Oneness, for freedom, for equality, for non-duality, for the end of “othering”—for no more us versus them, good versus bad, liberals versus conservatives, the far left versus the far right, pro-lifers versus pro-choicers, feminists versus misogynists. I marched for unity, alongside many who chose love with me.”
Do you agree that is a compelling and energetic path to be on in consciousness? Someone has said a wish is a desire without energy and intention.
Right now, I see my path as deeper listening. As a life coach I consider myself a good listener. However I have recently discerned some inner mental walls where I have not been open to listening to other’s perspective during this election process.
Also, I think we can agree that the mental walls that have been errected in the collective consciousness of our nation, have been heightened.
What if deep listening to each other, so that we feel seen, heard and valued could begin the healing process of dissolving these walls?
Can truly hearing, seeing, and valuing each other fall into the category of a Love Warrior? I think so
If you find it challenging to consistently stay in the space of a Love Warrior, you are invited to join me for 21 days in resetting or setting your intention to actively hold the consciousness of Oneness, freedom, equality, and love in whatever path calls to you.
If you choose this compelling and energetic path toward which to work, below is a declaration you may choose to use or one of your own creation:
Daily say: “Perfect God within me, Perfect life within me, which is God, come forth into expression through me as that which I am; lead me into the path of perfection and cause me to see only the good.” Science Of Mind – p185
Whether you physically march in the consciousness of a Love Warrior or choose a different path, let’s remember the power of the Love Warrior consciousness to affect change….most importantly, change in you and me.
Tony Robbins asserts, “In the modern world that we live in today, the only thing that we can be certain about is that change is a constant. … When you have faith and let go of what you can’t control and instead put all your focus into and what you can make happen, you’re on the right path.…”
The Course In Miracles states we are either giving love or asking for love.
The New Testament scripture gives us the thought that perfect love casts out all fear.
Jesus in essence said that what we do to others, we do to ourselves.
“It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop.” -Confucius
As we know, we are what we think all day long. Let’s align ourselves with the Infinite Source of Life and let Life flow through us as right action and true expression.
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LOL = Lots Of Love