Are You Creating Your Life By Design Or Default?

Choosing a Different Experience

“Your thoughts and beliefs of the past have created this moment and all moments up to this moment. What you are now choosing to believe and think and say will create the next moment and the next day and the next month and the next year.”  — Louise Hay

Dear Heart Friend, 

What if it is true that we are either creating our life by design or by default? Does it seem unkind to consider that whether we like what our life looks like, pleasant or unpleasant, we are at cause of our experience? 

Creating Life Experience Story

If you don’t like how you are currently experiencing your life, I invite you to read the following short story which uses humor and a silly example to make a profound point about change and choice. And yes, it is unrealistic, but that’s what makes it funny. 

This story is about four construction worker sitting down to eat their lunches. The first guy unwraps his sandwich with a smile and says, “A fresh roast beef sandwich!”

The second guy unpacks his lunch and says, “My favorite, a turkey sandwich made from last night’s roast turkey.”

The third guy opens his lunch excitedly, saying, “Yes! Ham and cheese!”

The fourth guy mutters, “You guys are so lucky. Every day it’s the same thing, peanut butter, and jelly, day in and day out. I hate peanut butter and jelly. If I open this bag to find another peanut butter jelly sandwich, I’m just going to scream.” He opens his lunch and screams, Not again! Another peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

One of the other guys says, “Well if you hate peanut butter jelly so much why don’t you ask your wife to pack you something else for lunch?”

The guy replies, “Wife! I’m not married. I make my own sandwich.”

Silly, yes! But isn’t it true, metaphorically we all make our own sandwiches? Whether your life experience is akin to a roast beef, turkey, ham, and cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwich, what would your life look like if, without self-blame, you took responsibility for your life, without complaining and blaming others?

My Metaphorical Peanut Butter Experience

That being said, Here is where you might want to ask me, do I ever have moments where I am not living at my highest and best potential, and create a life analogous to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? BTW – I love peanut butter jelly sandwiches, just not every day.

Kids Creating
Kids Creating

My answer is, of course. I’m in the process of creating a new website, and I am getting ready to publish an ebook, Life’s Balancing Act, Living With Less Stress and  Creating More Peace (I get to learn what I want to teach).

If you’ve ever tried to learn a computer software program and needed to get an online tech support live voice, you may understand my recent frequent experiences of stress, frustration, and disappointment.

DO + HAVE = BE    vs    BE + DO = HAVE

Most of us are familiar with the driving energy of our western culture which pulsates the energy of DO, HAVE and BE. Which means the priority to having a good life and of being of value, is to first do what you have to do in order to have the necessary material possessions which will then entitle you to be of value.

The reverse to that formula is BE, DO, HAVE and is in alignment with our divine nature and who we have been created to be. I find it useful to my spiritual growth to ask empowering questions and answer based on this latter formula. When I want clarity about moving forward I use this formula in the following ways. 

So first ask yourself what you want to have in and as your life? Whether it’s education, good family relationships, a beautiful new home, a luxury automobile, a trip around the world, improved health, to lose weight–you name it.


Next, ask yourself what are you willing to do in order to have it? That means to identify the things that you have to do in order to have the things you say you want.

Then, the most important question in this formula is what are you willing to be that is in integrity and alignment with what you do to have what you want? This question causes you to examine yourself and determine what kind of person you have to BE in order to DO so that you can HAVE.

Claiming Your Birthright

Let me expand a bit using my real time website and book writing example. Here is a summary of how I use this basic formula:

What do I want to HAVE?

My answer: An attractive website both visually and vibrationally. I want to offer eBooks of value that serve my readers. I want to increase the number of people I serve with my blog. I want to offer online e-courses and webinars that are all of value, educational, and transformational. I also want an income that compensates me for my efforts.

What am I willing to DO in order to have what I say I want?

My answer: Invest in my resources of time, and finances; willingness to lean into the uncomfortable edge of personal growth, courses that improve my writing skills and enhance my coaching capabilities; webinars that teach how to create online offerings, i.e. classes, courses, webinars, etc.

What do I have to BE?

My answer: In order to have my offerings (website, eBooks, reports, blogs, webinars, etc.) vibrate at high energetic attractiveness, I must radiate being that attractiveness in the creative process. I must become in consciousness what I want to manifest.

For me, that means, choosing to release any angst, frustration, and move back into trusting that my affairs and endeavors are in the embrace of All-Knowing Infinite Intelligence working in, through and as me.

It means remembering any appearances of setbacks are setups for comebacks. Most importantly, it means being peaceful and sustaining a consciousness of gratitude, knowing I am led, guided, protected and inspired by the Living Spirit of Love and right action.

Am I always in that space? Unequivocally No! However, as a result of my years of spiritual practices, I now remember more quickly to see challenges as opportunities for growth. That shift in my perception enables me to have short-lived pity parties, and begin moving forward.

Creating Your Life Purpose

Think about it, we may not be able to control the outcome of our desired intention. But if our focus is on the process and acknowledge it as a journey or adventure of growth, it becomes much easier to choose our response, as opposed to default reactions.

You can use this basic formula for designing the life you want to have. Look at what you have to do in order to accomplish your objectives, and then examine yourself and determine what kind of person you have to BE in order to DO so that you can HAVE.

God has given us free will over our lives. When we accept full and complete responsibility for our lives, we realize blaming and complaining are a waste of our time and energy. When we accept full responsibility, we utilize and invest our time, energy and power into creating a fulfilling life of value, meaning, and purpose.

What if our life has no predetermined purpose?  What if you are waiting for your life purpose to be revealed when you have been given the power and choice to create your purpose? 

“For God is the One working in you both to will and to work according to His good pleasure.”          — Philippians 2:13

I would love hearing from you. What is your current life experience, pleasant or unpleasant?

Please comment in the comment box below. 

As we know, we are what we think all day long. Let’s align ourselves with the Infinite Source of Life and let Life flow through us as right action and true expression.

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LOL  =  Lots Of Love


2 Replies to “Are You Creating Your Life By Design Or Default?”

  1. Wonderful wisdom as always, Candy. I especially enjoyed the part about the journey. I’ve been stressing over my house and yard and hesitating to call contractors because of past experiences. You’ve given me a fresh perspective!

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